» I Love the Movies #8 - Summer Slacker Edition
June 30, 2009 at 11:08 pmI watch the movies so you can watch celebrities die.

Did you know that the matinee is only 1 dollar cheaper than a night showing?
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Star Trek - Yeeeeeeeeah…… noooooooo
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - 40 somethings star in a romantic comedy. How sweet.
Next Day Air - A African-American comedy involving drug dealers. Stereotype much?
X-Men Origins: Wolverine - I think you can download this piece of garbage.
Land of the Lost - Who would have thought that a movie remake of a shitty 70’s TV show would be a box office flop. Honestly, Will Ferrell should just set his hair on fire.
Obsessed - Beyonce is in this movie. Automatic failure.
Tyson - After seeing this movie, I decided I needed a facial tattoo.
Crank: High Voltage - Seriously .. really? Another one?
17 Again - Ughh …. another reason to hate Zac Efron. I think it’s a ripoff of the movie Big.
Terminator Salvation - It’s Terminator 4….
Angels & Demons & Bears…. Oh My!
Dance Flick - It’s a Wayan Brother’s movie. It’s about dancing. … need I say more?
Management - I would give Jennifer Aniston the best 5 seconds of my life. One pump chump it.
Imagine That - Imagine … there was a time that Eddie Murphy was an edgy stand up comedian, with specials like: Raw and Delirious. Now he just churns out garbage kids movies.
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - A bunch of douchebag actors get 5 million dollars each, to voice a character over a weekend. Seriously John Leguizamo got paid 2 mil for the first one. And it takes less than 36hours for someone to voice an animated film.
Drag Me to Hell - Fuck this movie. Live my life for more than 25 minutes and you will learn about hell.
Whatever Works - Apparently not in this shitty Woody Allen movie.
I Hate Valentines Day - So obviously the answer is to make the sequel to My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Megan Fox just needs to get naked.
Public Enemies - This movie looks pretty cool.
The Proposal - I want to propose to Gianna Michaels.
The Hangover - You know a sure fired way to cure a hangover? Start drinking again. Just a slice of advice from an alcoholic.
Up - I’ve heard that this movie and brought grown men to tears. I never cry. I don’t know where I’m going with this.
My Sister’s Keeper - Check this one out if you want to see Cameron Diaz in a flesh colored swim cap.
Year One - Seriously .. the weed in California must be off the hook for Jack Black to make this movie. Check out Airborne if you want to see a better Jack Black flick. Not even David Cross could have saved this one.
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian - Ben Stiller and Robin Williams had to pay off their wives credit car bills.
Away We Go - A child molester and a mulatto fall in love and have a baby or something like that.
Brüno - Fake acting and 83 minutes of gay.
I Love You, Beth Cooper - Wow this movie looks bad … but Hayden Panettiere looks fucking nice.
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 - Apparently the first one with Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw sucked so much they needed to make a new one. Although, I think I’m the only one who is jealous of Travolta’s moo-stache.
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